sigmastolen: (ter'angreal)
omg i had the most traumatic dream this morning

so for whatever reason i was going to play bassoon and contra with ucla for this concert (not at the hollywood bowl but at a venue not unlike the bowl) -- the first piece was some kind of partially-staged concert version of la boheme which they didn't need me for, then, like, a strauss and a mahler? i don't actually know. anyway. because this was a dream, my parents were coming to the concert and so we were all driving together and also i think i hadn't been to any rehearsals and was going to be sightreading in the concert (which maestro generally wouldn't permit in real life).

anyway so we get to the venue and find our seats (in the second or third row, but on the end -- this was due to some complex seating algorithm involving how close to the concert date you purchased your tickets) and i take out my contrabassoon reed to soak it and realize at that point that i don't think i brought my instruments, and i start to freak out. so i take the car keys and run back to the car and, yep, they're not there. so then i run back to my parents to give back the keys and it's a few minutes after 8 (when downbeat was supposed to be) but on my run i saw "rolling hills" curtis in the audience and i might be able to borrow his instruments, so i tell that to maestro and promise to be right back. i go and find paul and ask to borrow his horns, i have my own reeds, and yeah, i can borrow his bassoon, it's right here, but he doesn't have his contra on him (because who would, honestly), and so i say thank you thank you thank you i can make it work (and i see dan a few seats away and he looks hurt that i'm not asking to borrow his bassoon but he doesn't even have a contrabassoon and two birds with one stone, man) (and i'm also mentally swearing and thinking i'll never get a gig in this town again) and i grab his case and start to run back to the stage

and then i woke up in a cold sweat
sigmastolen: (omgcrab)
The semester is ending at last, and now it's crunch time for real. And yet, there's no sign of my usual sudden ability to get shit done at the last second. I don't know what it is, but my ability to focus on anything (except for playing bassoon, apparently) is nonexistent. I can't even concentrate on my distractions -- it's all, let's read something! let's draw! let's do the dishes! let's check schedules! let's watch music on youtube! let's look up song lyrics! let's wiki dead actors! let's read something else! let's have some tea! let's snack! let's draw! let's check facebook! let's fix some old drawings with hairspray so they don't smear any more! let's daydream about paper topics! let's sing! let's daydream about knitting! let's hug the cats! let's post to lj!

Just now I actually walked away from the computer in the middle of typing this and did something else for a minute. I'm on the verge of making myself a cocktail. Or drawing. Or something. I don't even know.

Maybe it's that the semester is so long? Maybe it's lulled me into complacency? Or am I just rationalizing my shortcomings, as usual?

let's talk about all the things that are about to screw me over! :D )

Also, today it has been pouring. It might snow later this week. WTF.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS PLAY BASSOON AND SLEEP
WTF HOW DID IT BECOME AFTER MIDNIGHT
sigmastolen: (mallow)
edit: so first I had this as a public entry and then i was like oh god people will freak out if they read this so i made it private but now i'm making it public again because i'm kind of on an openness kick and just, don't worry, okay? it was a really fleeting moment this morning afternoon and it freaked me the fuck out but now i'm cozy at home with the kitties and i finally think i can make headway on the paper so i'm gonna go finish that fucker all right? all right.


I feel really unhinged today. Like, anxious and moody and my stomach is weird. Last night and all this morning, I couldn't concentrate. I think I've finally figured out how I'm going to finish my paper (or at least tack another source onto it jfc), but I couldn't make myself sit down and type -- instead, I did the dishes. On my way to school today, I was waiting at a crosswalk. The cross-traffic was rushing by and, just for a moment, I imagined really vividly what it would be like to step out into the street: the way I'd be thrown through the air with the force of impact; the way my spine would be bent at an impossible angle. For that moment, I really thought about it. And then I was properly terrified and I practically ran across campus to the CFA once the walk signal turned green, and then I had to sit in convocation and listen to brass chamber music while I really just wanted to run around or sit and shake or call someone or hide. And my hands are still twitchy and I feel a little hysterical and in an hour I have to play Mozart and I've barely practiced at all this week because I keep going home early to "work on my paper" except then I don't work on my paper. And on Tuesday even though I felt like shit because of allergies and I could barely hear anything in the rehearsal hall and I could not find the place where I was in tune with the other woodwinds, all the graduate conductors were really impressed. And I just don't even know anymore. I feel a little crazy and it doesn't feel good.

But anyway Anthony Plog's "Four Sketches for Brass Quintet" is really awesome and I dig it.
sigmastolen: (omgcrab)
Yesterday, it was hot and sunny and dry. No, for real, my hair was all flat any everything! I didn't have to be on campus at all, so I took the opportunity to do some errands:

- to the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh (main branch, so the one near school, not the one near my house). I got a library card, as well as parts for the Nielsen wind quintet for my new woodwind quintet. We're going to have our first rehearsal on Friday; on Monday, we had a meeting to, well, meet each other, and talk about what music to get (the verdict: Ibert, Beethoven, D'Rivera (Aires Tropicales), Nielsen, Francaix. NO DANZI, NO REICHA, NO LIGETI. I am only sad about one of those things). GOSSIP TIEM! We're all first-year M.M. students... except the horn player. We had a second-year M.M. horn player, but she had too many other chamber groups and dropped us. (GOSSIP, SECOND LAYER: all the other double reeds call her The Bitch.) So our new horn player is.... a freshman. The clarinet player is really dissatisfied with this. ADDITIONALLY: everyone seems REALLY WHOLESOME except for me and it is AWKWARD. They also don't seem very adventurous. I mean, my quintet wish list has things like Harbison and Carter and Zappa on it, and they're all, Ibert! Beethoven! These sound excellent! Oh, UCLA, how I miss your new music scene. Or at least, I miss how all my friends were into new music. ON THE OTHER HAND I might already be the darling of the composition students, so that's cool.

- to the AT&T store for a new phone (my current phone is slowly reaching the inevitable doom of all flip phones: the hinge is breaking). This was actually kind of a bust. FIRST it's in the Strip District (no, I haven't figured out why it's called that yet), which is like an hour-long bus ride. Then, when I got there, my AT&T Representative, Ron, said I needed to be an authorized user on the family's account in order to upgrade my phone without my mum coming in and providing identification. This was an easy enough fix -- I called my mum and gave her the customer service number and she took care of that in about 10 minutes while Ron took care of someone else on the phone and I browsed the phones on display. BUT THEN when he checked to see if I would be able to get the discounted upgrade price, it blocked him because our payment was past due. So I called mum AGAIN and as it turned out she'd written all the checks on Friday before she went to the Bay Area for the weekend (apparently my uncle in Saratoga had a brain tumor? Don't worry, they cut it out and he's fine and actually friendly for perhaps the first time ever) but then my DAD neglected to put them in the mail on Saturday without her to remind him. So the check actually got mailed on Monday and wasn't processed by Tuesday when I was actually physically standing in the store. The price difference could have been a few hundred dollars, so Ron gave me his card and I'm planning to go back on Saturday to get a new phone for real. Which is okay, because it gives me time to try to make a BIG BIG DECISION: Do I go with my usual MO these past several years and get a phone that only does what I have so far needed it to do (calls, text messages, photos, the occasional photo message)? Or do I swing to the opposite end of the spectrum and shell out for a high-functioning smart phone (an iPhone refurb or something)? TBH I'm leaning toward the iPhone, depending on how much it will cost and what monthly fees they will charge... but any input/advice is welcome.

- to the grocery store for EPIC GROCERY SHOPPING (no, seriously, I had three bags full. That's a big deal when you walk to the store)

SO ANYWAY, that was yesterday. Hot, dry, sunny, errands. TODAY started out bright and hot and muggy. By mid-afternoon it was getting a little cloudy. And then I started to practice and the clouds rolled in, it got breezy, and suddenly there was THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. So I called mum to tell her about it, because I had mentioned how hot and dry it was yesterday. And right after I hung up the phone, there was suddenly a TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR. Like, literally sheets of rain. So much rain that I couldn't see across the courtyard because of all the rain in the way. But by the time I finished practising, perhaps 40 minutes later, and went to catch a bus home, it had stopped, and as I was walking from the bus to my apartment, the sky had cleared enough for the sun to be in my eyes. My poor reeds, they just don't understand! And neither does my hair. (I'm so fluffy right now.)

BUT YEAH. WEATHERRRR!!!!!!1!!!!11!!eleven

TONIGHT: baking cookies and watching Hard Candy. Netflix: it is my new favourite thing.

ETA;; wtf lj changed the buttons on that little bar at the top of the entry. WHAT IS THIS, LIVEJOURNAL. I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT HOW I HATE CHANGE.

ETA.2;; also today: my Music & Nature prof made me read an assignment out loud today (an abstract for an article we read on music as an element of sexual selection, which is pretty interesting stuff, btw) as an example of good academic writing. And then later a girl from class told me -- so sincerely! -- about how excellent it was. I might have died of embarrassment... except I'm too arrogant and self-satisfied for that. *buffs nails on shirt* Yep, still got it. HAY GUISE MAYBE I'M NOT BURNT OUT AFTER ALL
sigmastolen: (Default)
As is typical of me (and when did I become such a terrible student? Have I always procrastinated so excessively?), I am only now seriously getting to work on this shit. (I spent a long time this week letting myself be distracted and questioning whether I even gave enough of a damn to bother. (Honestly, the reasons I am bothering are these: I've spent five years and a lot of my parents' money to achieve this so I'd better finish what I started, and I'd rather have the credential and not use it than need the credential and not have it. But mostly the finish-what-i-started bit.))

I needed to have noise, though, so I turned on one of the many eps of Star Trek: TOS that I have collected in the DVR. And it happened to be "Space Seed," the first appearance of Khan. (You know, KHAAAAAAN!) And now I'm finding it difficult to mostly ignore the telly as I had planned, because, well, KHAAAAAAN!

And now I'm wasting time blogging about it and, just -- AUGH. Because this is totally breaking my usual philosophy of "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing well" because I'm not convinced this is worth doing but I'm doing it anyway, except with a fuckton of "I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THIS IS GOOD IT JUST HAS TO BE FINISHED" except FUCK I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. I DO NOT WANT THIS. WHY. WHY AM I DOING THIS.

Because all I want to do right now (besides sleep) is watch Star Trek. And all I want to do in life is play bassoon and be a big nerd (redundant i know). NEITHER OF THESE THINGS REQUIRE ME TO FINISH THIS PROJECT AND GET A TEACHING CREDENTIAL. Although I suppose it would look pretty terrible for me to fail my student teaching (yes it's a class) because I didn't finish this shit. Carnegie Mellon would probably disapprove.

BUT I DON'T EVEN WANT THIS SHIT.
sigmastolen: (Default)
Me: OMG WHY CAN'T I GET ANYTHING DONE

[livejournal.com profile] doktor_quack: Usually when I ask myself that question, I go through a list of other questions to help me figure it out.
1) Am I on Facebook?
...

The list goes on, but in your case, the answer to that is yes.

[livejournal.com profile] doktor_quack: But for the sake of process, I'll go on.

2) Am I on wikipedia?
3) Am I on Google Maps?
4) Am I reading web comics?
5) Am I obsessively refreshing my inbox?
6) Am I obsessively refreshing my old inbox just in case?
7) Am I watching Youtube videos?
8) Am I looking at lolcats?
9) Am I looking at porn?
10) Am I staring at the wall?

If the answer to all of those are no, then you are beyond help. It's time to turn in your lifetime membership card to the Breathing Club.

[livejournal.com profile] doktor_quack: And when I say "sake of process," what I really mean is "Sake of Process," as in the Japanese rice wine.

------

haaaaaa haha ha hah. :)

In other news, I think I just decided to prioritize sleep over doing my project. It's not entirely because I'm out of coffee. Although that may be a contributing factor.

It possibly has more to do with the deadline having been... softened, if you will, from "Friday before 5!!!" to "by Sunday night." And it probably has quite a lot to do with my own ennui and lack of desire to do this anymore, despite my thinking I had been remotivated by Dr. Music Ed's pep talk this afternoon.

I'm also pretty sure it has at least a little bit to do with how very fucked I am. Because, guys, how fucked am I? 20-pages-fucked, plus video clips which I may or may not be able to cajole into a format compatible with Quicktime (or, as my brain just screamed at me, QUIKTIEM!!!). In other words, so fucked.
sigmastolen: (omgcrab)
So my Powerbook G4 -- you know, the one I've had for the past five years? I got it in August 2005 -- finally kicked it, and man, have I had an eventful day and a half because of that. I type this from my brand-new (no, literally, we bought it this morning and I booted it up an hour and a half ago) 13-inch Macbook Pro, and half of me wants to call it "the new hotness" in Agent J fashion, while the other half is still mourning my old computer. Also, I can't decide if I like Snow Leopard or not.

Friday I got home around 11:15 and suddenly remembered that I had to write program notes for Contempo Flux -- so I opened up a new Word document, and went to Wikipedia for the composer's dates. It took ages to load -- so long that I fell asleep waiting, and woke up at 12:30 having left the lights on. I immediately went to my e-mail to send E a message apologizing for missing the deadline, and that is when my computer froze. It froze hard.

So I turned it off. And I turned it back on. And then I tried to log into my user account, and it gave me an error message apologizing that my user account could not be accessed at this time. I tried a few more times to log in, with the same result, and then decided to try the guest account. It started to load, but very very slowly, so I went into the main room, where Flatmate had left her computer on and out on the table, and dashed off an e-mail from there. I returned to my computer, which was still. loading. I fell asleep once again, this time with the lights off.

The next morning I woke up around 6, and the guest account was ready. I researched and wrote my program notes from that account, then restarted the computer to try getting into my own stuff yet again. Still no luck. I was planning to go to Long Beach yesterday anyway, so I had breakfast, watched some telly, told my mum we needed to go to the Apple Store, and was off. The guy at the Genius Bar, cute-and-nerdy Brendan, performed some diagnostics and determined that my hard drive was, somewhat miraculously after five years, still functioning well enough. (He was careful to emphasize that all hard drives will eventually fail. Yes, sweetie, I know that moving parts inevitably wear out. I don't blame Apple.) He tried rebooting my computer, but again when I tried to log in, I was denied. Brendan hypothesized that I had a "massive software error" and advised me to, upon getting back to my parents' house, start up my computer in "target mode" and Firewire it to their iMac, transfer my files to the other computer, and reinstall the operating system.

I waited to do that for a couple hours, since my AP English teacher (and my brother's next-year AP English teacher) was giving a talk at Barnes & Noble that afternoon, so he and I went to see her and got some books and stuff. I tried to get started upon coming home around five, but then I discovered that we didn't have the right kind of Firewire cable (6-pin to 6-pin is HARD TO FIND btw) so we went first to Staples (no joy there), then to Best Buy looking for it. After the sales girl at Best Buy found it by chance (on a rack for a different kind of Firewire cable, in a previously opened package so at least we got it discounted), we went home and I tried to do this file transfer thing. I spent about 45 minutes totally baffled and panicked by the ".sparseimage" file that I found inside my user folder instead of other folders containing actual documents and things. When I tried to call Apple's tech support hotline, I almost had a breakdown because I had missed their operating hours by 30 minutes and had to wait to contact them until the next morning. I decided to recklessly transfer this ".sparseimage" thing (actually a special disk image of my user data, including all of my files) to my parents' external hard drive, which I would then (hypothetically) take home that night, reinstall OS X from the installation disks in my apartment, reload my files onto my laptop, and return the hard drive to my parents the next day.

But no. The file transfer kept getting stuck at 3.86GB and freezing the other computer. (I tried this probably three times, both before and after going to Amanda's senior recital WHICH WAS AWESOME AND EPIC.) Utterly defeated, I returned to my apartment sans my computer, and eventually fell into a troubled sleep.

This morning I was unable to wake up as early as I hoped, so it was about 7:30 when I returned to my parents' house to call Apple Care and ask them what to do. The techie on the phone wasn't encouraging; after I explained all the problems to him, he thought it was something wrong with the disk, and said I would probably have to remove the hard drive from the laptop casing and put it in another enclosure to be able to recover the data. Or, rather, an Official Service Provider would. So I thanked him and conferred with my parents; it was agreed to give me my graduation present of a new laptop a month early, and my mother would take my old laptop to the Official Service Provider on her lunch hour tomorrow to see what they could do. I took a nap while my parents went grocery shopping and we waited for the Apple Store to open, then off we went.

And so now I have a new computer, and that's cool, but it's kind of bittersweet. Because I still love my old computer.

In other news, I definitely could have been trying to salvage the files for PACT that I had already e-mailed to my professors... but I spent an hour writing this instead. YAAAAY. The moral of the story? BACK UP YOUR DATA. BACK IT UP HARD. Especially if you're using a 5-year-old, tiny, limping monstrosity.
sigmastolen: (Default)
So I definitely meant to make several different posts throughout the past week, none of which actually happened. So I'll abbreviate my week, I guess, in order to have sort of a clean slate before going back to the high school in the morning.

1. Monday night we had the first of three Double Reed Studios classes on practising. This week's was Practising and Imagination, and it was pretty cool. It culminated in the oboe teacher having us all come up, one by one, and write a signed statement that said, "I promise to practise at least five minutes every day," and then giving us a little notebook to use as a practise log. As cult-like as it seems (and that's totally what it was -- an initiation ritual into the double reed practise cult), it's worked, at least for this week. I have indeed practised at least five minutes every day. Maybe having witnesses to that resolution is what's keeping me honest? Or maybe it's the notebook?
Afterwards we went to Margarita Mondays at Acapulco for Double Reed Bonding. Yay!

2. The kitties had a bath this week, and I find ways to improve my cat bathing technique every time I do it! This week's revelation: don't let them get above knee level. If you lift them, they will climb you. If you kneel, they will climb you. And if they jump to what they think is a decent enough height, they will then jump from there onto you and they will climb you. And being climbed is painful.
They were so fluffy afterwards, though! You know, after they sat and licked the water off for a couple hours.

3. Bratty New Library Assistant is in my Music of Asia class and he is a twat. Sat behind me in lecture on Tuesday and talked the entire time. Some of my favourite parts were when the professor struck a pair of finger cymbals to signify the start of class and he said, "You did not just ring a bell at me," when my friend Sarah shushed him (this happened several times but the best one was when he protested that he wasn't talking and retorted "you're talking right now!"), and when my TA was giving a powerpoint presentation involving nagas -- serpent deities -- and he got squeamish about a photograph of a statue of a snake (Sarah wrote in the margin of my notes, "MAN UP!" and "CAHONES!!" [sic])

4. On Wednesday we played some chamber music (incl. the Dvořák Wind Serenade) at the Chancellor's Residence on campus, and today when my mum came (to make me sign my taxes) she brought a lovely thank-you note from the Chancellor's wife. Awwwwww.

5. We've started rehearsing the orchestra parts for Flight, this quarter's opera, and it is so. Fun.

6. The (pro bono btw) recording session for WITH GREAT POWER, the documentary about Stan "The Man" Lee, finally happened on Friday. It was by turns exciting (My First Recording Gig! Capitol Records Studio! New bassoon friend! STAN LEE!!!) and frustrating (Terrible strings! Worst Cellos Evar! Bad horns! Bitch pianist! DIAF saying stupid things! Everything took FOREVER!!!). BUT they're going to send me (well, all the musicians) a copy of the DVD and and invitation to the premiere party, which would hopefully have CELEBRITIES!!! like STAN LEE!!!! at it. I told my brother he could be my plus one. There are actually more stories about Friday but I have to teach at 8 a.m. tomorrow.

7. So this week I have been seriously contemplating quitting the credential program. I don't know if it's because I am too afraid of all the work I haven't done yet (and when I say "all the work" I do mean all the work), but I feel like the only reason I'm still at it is to finish what I started, and I don't actually want the credential -- and by extension, I don't actually want to teach -- anymore. And I sort of feel like that's not a good enough reason to go through with it. I dunno. So far everyone I've talked to about it has told me to just suck it up and finish it because I'll be much more employable with a credential than without.

8. I have been cooking up a storm this weekend: asparagus omelet (it was going to be frittata but then I lost my nerve) rosemary cornbread muffins, sweet potato fries. And I found a recipe for rosemary asiago cornbread madeleines and I've decided to do it once I research and purchase a replacement for buttermilk. But I'll probably do them in a mini-muffin tin instead of a madeleine mold. Recipes to follow!

9. ... So I'm moving to Pittsburgh! I decided this morning, when mum was over. Hopefully I'm still able to get all the aid they offered, I kind of didn't read the part where I was supposed to turn in my assistantship application by either 15 or 31 March. I'm going to call the admissions officer about it tomorrow, as well as put the application and all of my "Y/N??" forms in the mail tomorrow.

10. Typing sideways in the dark is hard. I have done so much "typo-->delete (repeat ad nauseam) -->retype" tonight. Gah!
sigmastolen: (Default)
Okay, so I'm doing my student teaching at Santa Monica High School. It's Santa Monica, so there are tons of boutique clothing shops and shit, and the girls are all so fashionable, it kills me. I feel really lame and inadequate most days, especially given my limited repertoire of teaching-appropriate clothes. But today I wore these shoes: Ann Marino Lark (ugh, picture to replace link when I get my act together with Photobucket) and about ten kids complimented them, in the two classes I taught today. Eee. c:

In other news, it's UCLA's spring break this week, but Samohi's next week and the week after, so instead of a proper spring break, I'm getting three weeks of half-time, kind of. I'm hoping that, in the next two weeks, I'm finally able (read: have enough willpower) to sit my ass down and do the written work for the PACT, which was due about three weeks ago and which I have not even started. (I'm a winner!)

On the OMG GRAD SCHOOL OMG front, I've heard back from nearly all my schools now. Still no official word from UNCSA, and no word at all from Temple, and I'm waiting on financial aid packages from most, but what I do know so far is:
rejected by Northwestern
accepted by University of Michigan (financial aid tbd), Mannes (financial aid tbd), Rutgers ($12,000 scholarship/assistantship), San Francisco Conservatory ($12,000 scholarship + federal loans that would cover nearly all my projected costs), Carnegie Mellon ($10,000 scholarship + $20,900 assistantship, which would cover full tuition)

Carnegie Mellon seems to be the front runner so far, but SFCM and UMich were also "close second" schools, and Mannes might leap forward when I get the snail-mail package, which I hope would include information about financial aid and whose studio I would be in. Rutgers would also be fun in a hang-out-with-Z-all-the-time way, and I liked Angela Anderson Smith, and I like the proximity by train to New York (one hour) and Philadelphia (two hours)...

What I need to do now is sit down and figure out how I feel about each teacher and each school. Really decide, and rank them, based on what I think will be best for me in terms of increasing my competence at bassoon. Not that that's going to be difficult or anything.

Also, I'm going to be hella busy next quarter. Boo.
sigmastolen: (Default)
While I'm trying desperately to avoid my homework while still trying desperately to get it done today, here's the word so far:

UNCSA: probably yes (still nothing official from the admissions office)
U of Michigan: yes
Northwestern: no
Rutgers: yes

I feel a little silly that Northwestern is bumming me out so much. I think I got all hopeful because Millard said he wanted to call me, but then he never did and I didn't follow up on it, and it was my first choice and now I'm sad.

But! I do have at least 2 places to go to grad school, which is nothing to sneeze at.

I swear I'll unpack those lists soon. There's just... a lot going on right now.
sigmastolen: (Default)
Epic Audition Extravaganza: The Completed List
1. PACT: Do Not Want, Wednesday night panic, Muscle Spasm awesomesauce, Granola Bars FAIL, probable overpacking
2. LAX: Terminal 6 does not appear to have a theme... but does have plants, sausage sandwich, sitting and waiting, I change my wallpaper when I'm bored apparently
3. Midair: Continental serves Bombay Sapphire (which is a bigger point in its favour than it should be considering I don't generally imbibe on airplanes and especially not when I have to do something important the next day) and experiments with biofuels, sleeping through lunch, Renee Zellweger is Not Pretty, Houston is verdant.
4. IAH: many sprawling terminals, rude cart drivers, extremely localized food, assholes at chili's, Apple Fritters are NOT Apple-Filled, changing gates OMG: I am not amused; many outlets; many running people (I feel this is a sign that the layout here is ineffective); no dinosaurs here either; waiting forever to board
5. Midair: teeny jet, smashed finger, eager-to-please flight attendant, sleeping, omg my ears
6. Greensboro --> Winston-Salem: Awkward driver, Historic Hotel is Actually Posh (pictures!), These Boots: Made Foar Walkin
7. UNCSA: Disjunct practise rooms, Air Travel Fiasco Part the First, The Audition (so-so), Oon Bonding: Lunch, The Interview, Oon Bonding: Coffee (which I had to regretfully decline)
8. Winston-Salem --> Greensboro: These Boots: No Moar Walkin Pls, Automated Phone Systems Suck, Chatty Driver
9. GSO: Ticket Fiasco Part the Second (OMG OMG OMG)
10. Midair: Sunset Sandwich, SO MUCH SNOW
11. PHL: How do they get the snow off of so much tarmac?, still (miraculously) on time, very convenient clocks everywhere (yes, this is notable), classical music (Quiet City :) ), CNN: "Monster Nor'easter"
12. Midair: PROPELLOR PLANE OMG, de-icing fluid, fucking loud, uncomfortably warm cabin, uncomfortably warm dude (why must you choose to sit next to me?), dumbfuck lady behind me (worthless human being)
13. EWR: wtf soliciting taxis inside baggage claim (TSA should make them gtfo), the clear deterioration of my mood (stressed? tangry? hangry?), muscle spasm: reprise, I just found a dust bunny under my keyboard cover wtf
14. New Brunswick: Meeting Zach's friends, cosmos, hangover, New Brunswick is charming, snow makes things pretty (and ice makes them slippery), orchestra concert, Houlihan's and bassoon-related desperation, fastest audition turnaround EVAR, sleepover!, omg the snoring (how does your girlfriend stand you?), breakfast or lack thereof (two granola bars and a tangerine, which has less of a ring to it than "two turntables and a microphone"), snow is cute!
15. Onna Train: easy-peasy, so sleepy, Not the Closest Stop to Temple
16. Temple: only arriving 15 minutes before means I can't overtire my chops in the practise room :D, The Audition (I think it went well but man am I awkward. Also, no "do you have any questions?" wtf)
17. Wandering Philadelphia with my Bassoon: The Broad Street Line (and the rude ticket booth attendant), Avenue of the Arts, Curtis, Rittenhouse Square, Walnut Street (H&M + Steve Madden = Temptation), classy ladies eat at McDonald's, City Hall and the Love Statue (pictures!), The Blue Line (one stop haha but it's better than walking 8 blocks), serendipitously convenient timing
18. Onna Train Again: still easy, still sleepy.
19. New Brunswick: walking distance ftw, awkward ride offer, naptiems, Fat Sandwiches, The Hangover
20. Monday: seriously dude chill the fuck out, Coldstone :D, No Restrooms Anywhere, Spontaneous Audition is Spontaneous!, I hate paperwork, train, subway, Hot Dogs Are Delicious, Lincoln Center is Pretty, OMG THE MET (Barber of Seville; can I work here please?), Deacon Brody's, RUN RUN RUN, embarrassing stories are embarrassing!
22. Tuesday: sitting around, OCD suitcase management, Tiny Professor is Tiny, New York Adventure! (train, subway, Mannes, rehearsing with Raphael, aimless wanderings, Roomie!, chilling with Paula: YMCA, Dinner (Peter's), Cupcakes (Magnolia), missing the train), margaritas (likely ill-advised), The Rite of Spting
23. Wednesday: Toaster Oven FAIL, New York Adeventure! (bus, train, Penn Station is Still Confusing, the 81st St. subway station is the prettiest (PICTURES)), The Audition (Mozart I, Berceuse, Alan Fox), aimlessly wandering the Upper West Side (eggplant parmesan in Central Park (PICTURES!)), Museum of Natural History (Birds! Dinosaurs! how the hell do I leave? no time for rocks, space :c (MORE PICTURES!)), omg my feet, The Music Theory Battery, train, dinner and much wine and Beatles Rock Band
24. Thursday: mild oversleeping (still with time to organizedly re-re-pack), train, EWR (Dunkin' Donuts outside security but not inside? FOUL DECEITFULTEMPTRESS, No Freaking Outlets), Onna Plane (crosswords, sleeping), PHX (WTF weird random hills GTFO, CPK :D, No Freaking Outlets Again), Onna Plane (sniffles, boredom, sudoku), LAX (fuckers don't know how to drive), home again home again (kitties! disgusting hair! sleeping!), apartment (ugh just go the fuck to bed)
25. Friday: Reasons I Hate Flatmate (huge mess, coffee grinds, coffee pot, garbage disposal, fridge takeover), SCSBOA Festival (these shoes: not made foar walkin), Contempo Flux, Napa, home again home again



Also!! My car has a passenger-side mirror again. Yay :)
sigmastolen: (Default)
My audition at UNCSA was on Friday, and I felt like I played very sloppily, and I had worn out my embouchure in the practise room.

Last night, the admissions officer sent me a congratulatory e-mail -- the professor recommended me for acceptance, and now admissions is reviewing my file.

I'm glad there's at least one place I can be next year, although UNCSA was not my favourite. I'm definitely still keeping my fingers crossed (and pouting a little that the prof from Northwestern still hasn't called).

In other news, have more list:
14. New Brunswick: Meeting Zach's friends, cosmos, hangover, New Brunswick is charming, snow makes things pretty (and ice makes them slippery), orchestra concert, Houlihan's and bassoon-related desperation, sleepover!, omg snoring (how does your girlfriend stand you?), breakfast or lack thereof (two granola bars and a tangerine, which has less of a ring to it than "two turntables and a microphone")

(yeah, the orchestra conductor pretty much begged me to audition here because apparently only one bassoonist will be continuing next year. I guess I'll do it? more audition experience is never a bad thing, and the teacher here is also at Temple and a guy I know studies with her there and likes her very much.)

Today I take the train to Philadelphia and audition at Temple... on very little sleep, because certain percussionists snore extremely disruptively. Ugh.
sigmastolen: (Default)
- If you stick your hand deep into a snowdrift, the snow you grab is soft and fluffy, unlike the hard icy shell of the drift
- The key to being a Drunk Girl (for me at least) is being in the company of someone you can trust to be The Responsible One. Usually the Responsible One is me, which spoils all my potential Drunk Girl fun.
- Epic Audition Extravaganza, Leg the Second: LIST.
6. Greensboro --> Winston-Salem: Awkward driver, Historic Hotel is Actually Posh (pictures!), These Boots: Made Foar Walkin
7. UNCSA: Disjunct practise rooms, Air Travel Fiasco Part the First, The Audition (so-so), Oon Bonding: Lunch, The Interview, Oon Bonding: Coffee (which I had to regretfully decline)
8. Winston-Salem --> Greensboro: These Boots: No Moar Walkin Pls, Automated Phone Systems Suck, Chatty Driver
9. GSO: Ticket Fiasco Part the Second (OMG OMG OMG)
10. Midair: Sunset Sandwich, SO MUCH SNOW
11. PHL: How do they get the snow off of so much tarmac?, still (miraculously) on time, very convenient clocks everywhere (yes, this is notable), classical music (Quiet City :) ), CNN: "Monster Nor'easter"
12. Midair: PROPELLOR PLANE OMG, de-icing fluid, fucking loud, uncomfortably warm cabin, uncomfortably warm dude (why must you choose to sit next to me?), dumbfuck lady behind me (worthless human being)
13. EWR: wtf soliciting taxis inside baggage claim (TSA should make them gtfo), the clear deterioration of my mood (stressed? tangry? hangry?), muscle spasm: reprise, I just found a dust bunny under my keyboard cover wtf
sigmastolen: (mallow)
I have arrived in Winston-Salem, NC. My hotel is posh. (And yes, I did manage to take some pictures of my charming and well-appointed room... the courtyard will have to wait for tomorrow when it's light.) I am going to be sleeeeeeepy tomorrow, especially since I'm still awake at nearly 1 a.m. EST and I slept so much on the planes today. Also, I hope there will be somewhere I am able to print my resume from my USB key, since I just read that part of the audition day info in the car on the way here. Also, I feel emotionally weird, and I think it's because I feel like I don't know what needs to happen next and where/when I have to be, what I need to do. Ugh. Or possibly I'm just pre-nervous. I kind of feel like I haven't practised enough this week. "This week," though, was extremely short and had two concerts in it. I don't know. It also had a lot of napping in it.

Have the beginnings of this trip's List, although I despair of ever actually unpacking all these lists.
1. PACT: Do Not Want, Wednesday night panic, Muscle Spasm awesomesauce, Granola Bars FAIL, probable overpacking
2. LAX: Terminal 6 does not appear to have a theme... but does have plants, sausage sandwich, sitting and waiting, I change my wallpaper when I'm bored apparently
3. Midair: Continental serves Bombay Sapphire (which is a bigger point in its favour than it should be considering I don't generally imbibe on airplanes and especially not when I have to do something important the next day) and experiments with biofuels, sleeping through lunch, Renee Zellweger is Not Pretty, Houston is verdant.
4. IAH: many sprawling terminals, rude cart drivers, extremely localized food, assholes at chili's, Apple Fritters are NOT Apple-Filled, changing gates OMG: I am not amused; many outlets; many running people (I feel this is a sign that the layout here is ineffective); no dinosaurs here either; waiting forever to board
5. Midair: teeny jet, smashed finger, eager-to-please flight attendant, sleeping, omg my ears
6. Greensboro --> Winston-Salem: Awkward driver, Historic Hotel is Actually Posh (pictures!)


Okkay, GoogleMaps tiem nao!
sigmastolen: (Default)
Okay, last weekend's list. I shall make a valiant effort to unpack you.

1) INT: Sunnydale Airport is NOT Long Beach. Plus, OMGBIRD!
The exterior of Sunnydale Airport is Long Beach Airport. The interior is not. Well, probably not. Because as much as I'm sure the airport has been remodeled/redecorated since season 6 of Buffy was filmed, the ceilings are just too low to accommodate a film crew. The Giles-at-the-airport scene looked a little like LAX, though -- or at least, a specific gate of LAX that I remember from my youth.
The thing about having terminals that connect directly to Outside, though (because Long Beach airport doesn't have those tunnel things that attach the gate to the plane, you actually physically walk across the tarmac to the plane and climb stairs up to the door), is that birds sometimes get in. This was just one of those random little fat brown songbirds, and it was fluttering and hopping around the waiting area eating crumbs from the floor. It was cute.

2) Midair: Animal Planet, sedimentary rock, SNOW EVERYWHERE
This was my first time flying JetBlue, and it does have its perks -- extra legroom, seatback TV screens with free DirecTV... I watched Animal Planet nearly the entire time, because it was having shows about kitties. Kitties! <3
I think we flew over the Southwest for a bit, I kept seeing these sedimentary rock structures that would start out a vibrant rusty red at ground level, then change to kind of a peachy-beige higher up (sometimes with snow on top. Eeeee!)
Also: There was snow EVERYWHERE. srsly.

3) Chicago: The Family And Their Zoo
My flight was directly to O'Hare Airport in Chicago, and Cousin Bea picked me up in her car. We met everyone for dinner at an Indian restaurant -- a bit of a celebration, because it was her mum's birthday. "Everyone" was: Me, Bea, her husband, their 6-month-old baby Malia, Bea's older sister, Bea's younger sister, her boyfriend, and their mum, Teri. Excellent food, and somehow I didn't feel awkward or overwhelmed, despite only seeing this part of the family once every few years. Afterward, Bea's hubby and I went to a bakery near their house to pick up a cake for Lola Teri while everyone else caravanned to Bea's house. He told me a bit about their pets -- two cats and two dogs. CUE MUCH RAMBLING ABOUT THE PETS )
Anyway, back at their house (they own a brownstone -- they rent out the top floor and live in the bottom two), we all congregated in the living room downstairs and had cake and talked for ages. It was super fun. And then I slept in the guest bedroom, which is on the bottom floor; the kitchen, office, and bedrooms are all on the middle floor, so I pretty much had the downstairs all to myself. I had meant to practise, but -- family time is important, too.
!!! Pics will go here!!! You know, later. Sometime.

4) Northwestern: The Audition
Okay, so as I said, the professor asked for scales, which was embarrassing. That was first thing, too... ugh. But everything after that I felt good about: my solos (even the Saint-Saëns), my excerpts (even The Marriage of Figaro), the weird ear-training thing he did... We talked a little afterwards; he explained the structure of the studios, the other professor's schedule, I asked about a couple things, he asked about contrabassoon. Anyway, I wasn't holding out too much hope, since when I checked in I saw that there were a lot of bassoon applicants auditioning that day (and there were plenty of other audition days, as well). But apparently I did something right, because the professor who wasn't there wants to talk to me on the phone.... :D

5) Evanston Is Pretty
After the audition, Bea and I went to get lunch at an awesome sandwich place and then drove around campus and the town a bit, so I could see more of the area. And it is so pretty. Evanston looks the way I imagine New England should look -- brick buildings, deciduous trees, big posh colonial-style houses... And the snow *swoon* I like snow. It also has a bunch of shops, a mix of chains and boutiquey places, like Westwood and probably similarly overpriced... but it looks so much cleaner than Westwood.
Then we went back to Bea's house for a while, and Lola Teri had cooked a couple kinds of crab (to compare and figure out which one they like better). I tried to eat it, I really did, but -- between having to pick off the shell and recalling the lobster we dissected in 8th grade? 10th? and all the parts that I was actually seeing... Ugh. I couldn't. But then it was time to go back to the airport...

6) ORD: All Airports Have Dinosaurs? How did CA miss this memo?
O'Hare has a Brachiosaurus. It's in the United terminal and it is HUUUUUUUUUUUGE. That makes DIA, PIT, and ORD with dinosaurs, but no dinosaurs at any of the California airports so far.... I'm disappointed in you, CA. Dinosaurs!!! I also stopped at the Field Museum booth and got a shot glass for my collection and a hematite necklace for mum.

OK TBC

7) Midair: Chatty Portland Man, Cities At Night, The Invention of Lying, So Many Stars
8) The City: Historical Hotels Are Posh-Looking (but not actually that posh); LA is Glamorous
9) SFCM: The Audition
10) The City: Flipper's, BART
11) SFO: hella early, Ich grolle nicht, security, Ghirardelli, sourdough, gambling antiques, outlet bar
12) Midair: Parents who don't look after their children on airplanes, holy crap SFO is right on the bay, man I wish I'd had a drink during my airport hang, lights sketch the coastline (o hai hwy 1)



P.S. BAXTER PURRS IN HIS SLEEP <3 <3 <3
sigmastolen: (octopus)
Thursday/Friday's list:
1) LAX: Parking FAIL, people who can't drive, security is SLOW, viola security dude, Terminal 4 is SPACE!!, OMGSNAX
2) Midair: OMG MY EARS.
3) ORD: 6 a.m. and DARK, breakfast doesn't feel good at 4 a.m.
4) Midair: Teeny tiny plane!
5) DTW: silent airport! Also, ANIMAL HATS. And, alto sax cab driver
6) UM: "The goal here is not to look like I spent all night on an airplane", The Audition (why do I talk so much? JL sends greetings to JS, NS. also, oops sorry shosty 9), Music Libraries Are Good Places To Kill Time, Information Meetings Are Always Boring No Matter How Hard You Try, It Is A Beautiful Day To Be Outside, Paulo Freire is Better with Snow, I can kill a lot of time in a bathroom
7) My Cab Diver And His Cat Jeezy
8) DTW: Security Trekkies, No Dinosaurs, awesome sandwich, BEST HAT EVAR
9) Midair: slightly less tiny plane
10) ORD: SPRINTING OMG
11) Midair: being half-asleep through the descent is weird
12) Home Again, Home Again: Jiggity Jog. Also, clingy kitties.

------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was kind of a BASSOONAGANZA!!! I went to two bassoon recitals and had a lesson, and then afterwards I made reeds. And went to a saxophone recital. In other news, Orch Manager appears to have a blonde girlfriend. Boo.

And then somehow My Favourite Pianist and I ended up staying in the building until closing, kind of just fooling around and chatting. I mentioned something about singing, because I have to learn a song for Awesome Music Ed Voice Class, and then she was like, "Do you want to sing with me?" because she needs to practise the voice music for her collaborative piano grad school auditions. So then she sightread my song and I sightread her songs and it was all kinds of fun! She even played Gretchen am Spinnrade because it's the only one I know, even though she doesn't need it for her remaining audition. And then [livejournal.com profile] doktorquack came and sang The Vagabond and it was good (much more effective than when I sang it. haha baritones > sopranos).

-----------------------------------------------------------

While I'm linking you to videos, have some Britten: Ian Bostridge singing "Villes" from Les Illuminations, omg you guys you don't even know how much i love ian bostridge (well maybe [livejournal.com profile] tubamaphone1 does)

Also, have some Stephen Colbert... with a bassoon.
sigmastolen: (omgcrab)
And now I'm having a beer and a shower, because if anyone deserves those two things, it's me. This weekend's List to follow!

3 Things

Feb. 18th, 2010 05:44 am
sigmastolen: (Default)
Thing the First: Last weekend's list!

1) INT: Sunnydale Airport is NOT Long Beach. Plus, OMGBIRD!
2) Midair: Animal Planet, sedimentary rock, SNOW EVERYWHERE
3) Chicago: The Family And Their Zoo
4) Northwestern: The Audition
5) Evanston Is Pretty
6) All Airports Have Dinosaurs? How did CA miss this memo?
7) Midair: Chatty Portland Man, Cities At Night, The Invention of Lying, So Many Stars
8) The City: Historical Hotels Are Posh-Looking (but not actually that posh); LA is Glamorous
9) SFCM: The Audition
10) The City: Flipper's, BART
11) SFO: hella early, Ich grolle nicht, security, Ghirardelli, sourdough, gambling antiques, outlet bar
12) Midair: Parents who don't look after their children on airplanes, holy crap SFO is right on the bay, man I wish I'd had a drink during my airport hang, lights sketch the coastline (o hai hwy 1)

This time there will be pictures!! Mostly of my cousin's menagerie. But also of her baby girl!

-----

Thing the second: One of the professors from Northwestern couldn't be at the auditions because he had a concert engagement in Canada (probably not the Olympics' Opening Ceremonies, which is what UCLA's trumpet professor did this weekend (they're both Canadian, you see)), so they videotaped them. Anyway, he e-mailed me and said he enjoyed my playing and wants to speak to me on the phone "sometime in the next week."
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
So I spent all of yesterday having intense flaily joy. You know, Kermit the Frog style, with the hands over the head? Except I express it more as flapping hands. In my heart, it's like Kermit. (Dude, why are there no YouTube videos of Kermit flailing? Fail.)

-----

Thing the third: Maestro is so weird sometimes. We did a concert for the music appreciation class yesterday and played the Brahms Variations on a Theme by Haydn. And he made up words to the St. Anthony Chorale, which is the theme, and taught them to the class, and they sang it with us before we played the piece. The words?
Oh, Barack Obama,
you're a president from Honolulu.
Oh, Michelle Obama's mama
raised her in Chicago.

He was all, "it was a 3-in-the-morning idea," and we were like, "yes, clearly." Later he said to the people playing the Dvorak (omg how do I make a hacek???) (cheers, Poodle!) Dvořák Wind Serenade, "What did you think of my song? My wife wasn't very impressed." Ahaha.

two-fer

Feb. 13th, 2010 11:33 pm
sigmastolen: (Default)
so i've made it to san francisco. chicago was cold cold cold. colder than pittsburgh, i think. it was really good to see my cousins, though, and i think i played well -- except for the scales, which i bombed, which is sort of embarrassing. but seriously, who actually asks for scales? all the websites say they will, but then no one actually does. except, apparently, for prof kirk at northwestern. oops. anyway, tomorrow is another day -- and another audition. i hope they weren't serious about having everything memorised... because i definitely don't. eh. sleepytiem nao.

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