Didn't you know? Every time you hear a minor second suspension resolve into a third, it represents lesbianic sexual tension erupting into a mini-musical orgasm.
And I mean, there has to be a reason the basses always get the tonic in final cadences. They're the big bossy males that dictate what the chord should be to the other oppressed voices. It's like in an open 4-part major chord in root position, the bass is all "I am the heart of the family unit," the tenor with the fifth is all like "I am the little boy trying to fulfill my dad's wishes," the alto with the third is all like, "Here's your dinner sweetie," and the soprano is actually useless because the bass already covered that note.
Hence, the open root position major chord represents traditional family values, and as we all know, traditional family values are full of all sorts of evil bigotry and hidden domestic violence and oppression.
But seriously, I know who you're talking about and I would have to, for the most part, agree.
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And I mean, there has to be a reason the basses always get the tonic in final cadences. They're the big bossy males that dictate what the chord should be to the other oppressed voices. It's like in an open 4-part major chord in root position, the bass is all "I am the heart of the family unit," the tenor with the fifth is all like "I am the little boy trying to fulfill my dad's wishes," the alto with the third is all like, "Here's your dinner sweetie," and the soprano is actually useless because the bass already covered that note.
Hence, the open root position major chord represents traditional family values, and as we all know, traditional family values are full of all sorts of evil bigotry and hidden domestic violence and oppression.
But seriously, I know who you're talking about and I would have to, for the most part, agree.