sigmastolen: (mallow)
[personal profile] sigmastolen
SO! I'm pretty sure I DO in fact have ANOTHER GODDAMN EAR INFECTION. HOWEVER, I was not able to get to the student health center this morning because I WAS AN HOUR LATER THAN I MEANT TO BE AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.

I got to school approximately at 9, and had a brief, frustrating practise in which I chose the two etudes I'll be learning for the next few months and in which I FORGOT to practise scales for my lesson and in which I ran out of time to go over the sonata and solo pieces I'm supposed to be learning. WHOOPS. It was particularly frustrating because I was away from my bassoon all weekend and yet did NOTHING PRODUCTIVE, and yesterday I was talking to my friend about being frustrated by my lack of technique but not knowing how to go about developing it but teachers expect incoming grad students to be pretty much set for technique and then they can feed their musical ideas into them but I feel like I'm the exact opposite. SO YEAH. frustrating. So now I feel frustrated AND unprepared for my lesson in half an hour.

Especially since I could only give myself an hour with my bassoon because I had to go to the library as soon as it opened at ten and WATCH VIDEOS FOR MY BUSYWORK CLASS. You know, the one where we could watch the videos during class time and get just as much out of it, BUT NO, we have to listen to the teacher tell INANE MEANDERING STORIES and then cringe and fidget when she calls on the DUMBEST GIRL EVER to ALSO tell inane meandering stories because she is TOO FUCKING DUMB to articulate her thoughts coherently.

FUCK, INTERNETS. FUCK.

and my hair is awful today and my reeds are crap and i sound like crap and my eyes weren't focusing right and why am I breaking out and i think I gave myself a fat lip trying to put reams of printer paper into a filing cabinet and my to-do list has had the same 5 things on it for the last two weeks and i still haven't done them because i SUCK AT LIFE and EVERYTHING ABOUT TODAY IS TERRIBLE, OKAY.

at least i remembered my goddamn sandwich. fuck.
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