sigmastolen | Entries tagged with running

Turns out it's no easier to motivate yourself to run in the evening, after a long, footsore day, than it is at oh-dark-thirty. The first three sets were... okay (hard but I made it, more or less). The fourth set, I had to stop and walk after 2 minutes, because my legs could not run any more. The fifth set, I managed to push through, partly because I walked most of the fourth set and partly because it was The Last One OMG. So, I dunno. I didn't ever really get to that place I found on Monday, where it felt like the top of my head came off and movement was effortless (granted I was only there for perhaps four minutes total on Monday, but still). Then again, did not need inhaler. *shrug* I guess I'll carry on with the regimen, increasing to 6:1 for Friday and Saturday, although part of me worries that it might be moving too fast. (Hopefully that is the part of me that will be gone if I lose a few pounds, eh?)

The kitties had a Big Day Out today! We went to the library and met all my bosses and friends. They stayed there all afternoon, I was surprised. I had anticipated only staying for maybe an hour or so, then taking them back home and boogieing back to work the rest of the shift, but they behaved themselves and were quite happy to let my boss dote on them all afternoon. She sent us home with some makeshift toys, too -- a travel-size dental floss tin that rattles, and a couple plastic eggs ("You can put pebbles in them, I bet they'll chase them then!"), plus a bit of string that we probably shouldn't use to tie up books now that kittens have been chewing it all up.

I can't decide if I want to eat dinner first, or practise? I wish it were not so late. (I probably should have gone running earlier, instead of watching that second episode of Star Trek.) I also wish that season six of NCIS would air on USA Network already, so I won't feel so awkward about watching the new season. (I read the season six synopses on Wikipedia, but it's definitely not the same. I've tried watching the full episodes on the CBS website, but it hates me! The videos won't load. They did on my daddy's computer. No fair :c )

Okay. I'm very very hungry, and if I try to practise without eating, I'll just play badly and get frustrated, and last night was quite enough of practise-related breakdowns for me. (I called my mum in tears and worried her half to death before she realised it was just because of a bad practise. She talked me down and I went to sleep and practising this morning was much better.)

So yesterday I added an extra "walk 30 min" to my training program, in the hopes that not doing nothing on Sunday would make Monday easier. I.... am not sure whether it worked. Today was still a little difficult, but that is not unexpected since today was sets of 5:1. The first one was a breeze, the second one was harder, and two minutes into the third one my legs were all, "actually we're done now" so I walked the rest of that set and took the opportunity to use my inhaler, since breathing was feeling a little tight. The fourth set was... better. I got tired again in the middle, and ended up walking about the middle minute and then running to finish the set, and I ran all of the final set but it was haaaaaaard and I was motivated mostly by the knowledge that it was the last one and I was almost back at my flat. I'm glad I have another chance at 5:1 on Wednesday.

Additionally, it is much much harder to motivate myself to run when I have to be up before dawn to do it. No, seriously, it was still dark when I set out at 6:20 this morning. And I will have 8am classes just about every day, I think, which means I should probably set my alarm for 5:45 so I can be out the door at 6, because today I got to campus more around 8:15 - 8:20 (which was fine for today since the orientation thing was at 8:30 but still). Aaaaaaaaaaaaarg. CAN NOT HAS SLEEP :C

OH OH KITTY STORY

This morning, Baxter arched his back and puffed up his tail and hopped sideways towards the open bathroom door (the bedroom was darkened, but the bathroom light and fan were on, as well as I think the shower -- I was getting my slippers or something). I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT. Especially since after 3 or 4 hops, he sat down in the doorway and curled his tail -- STILL PUFFED -- around his feet like nothing happened. WTF BAXTER. WTF. IT WAS SO WEIRD.

And also! My contrabassoon audition was moved to next week because they finally realised that they have more people trying to audition than they have time slots that evening. Which is fine, since I'm sure I'm the only one auditioning on contra anyway and I'm definitely the only one that for sure plays contra and I'm sure I'll be The Contra Player again, which is fine. I'm mostly doing the contra audition to learn the excerpts and get comments, so that's cool, it's not important for placement. It does make me wish, though, that I could take that extra week of time to work on the regular bassoon materials, because they are harder and I am bad at working things to faster tempi. Also I am a bad bad girl and have taken several days off practising them because maybe I guess I LIKE shooting myself in the foot. I dunno. I think I talked enough about it last night. W/E.

p.s. i juuuuuuust splashed some moderately-large drops of coffee on my (new!) jeans. *put-upon sigh* typical. At least it wasn't hot.

p.p.s. NTS: to purchase: printer cartridge, half-and-half.

oh godddddddddddd

the kittens are BOTH!! under the comforter but on top of the topsheet, and attacking my toes through it. Which is adorable! Especially the warm, soft, kitten-sized comforter lumps. BUT OH GOD IT TICKLES

oh thank god they stopped

-----

Dear Flatmate,

I know I tend to take curves on the freeway, especially the ramps, quite fast. I know my car handles well enough for me to do so. You going "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" in the backseat is not entertaining, cute, or endearing, and it does not make me want to slow down, either. It just pisses me right the fuck off and makes me want to go fucking faster to teach you a lesson so shut the fuck up.

p.s. You telling the kittens loudly that their nails are sharp and need cutting does not endear you to me, either. I will cut the kittens' nails when I think they need it and when the are relaxed enough and I have the time. Being coy about it does not make the confluence of these events any more likely. shut the fuck up. maybe if you didn't insist on holding them when they don't to be held, you wouldn't encounter their claws. I haven't had problems yet.

p.p.s. I won't thank you for finally cleaning the stove and the countertop. I am quite relieved that you did because the mess you have left unattended for several days was on the verge of becoming a biohazard (seriously, that bowl that you used for defrosting the raw chicken sat out three days, and that fork with the raw egg was from yesterday morning), but I refuse to thank you and congratulate you for doing something that should be automatic and prompt -- not a special feat deserving a reward. And while I'm glad you finally picked up most of your shit that was scattered around the living room, I see no reason for your flip-flops to still be under the coffee table. You don't even wear them why the fuck should they ever be out of your room.

-----

so I FINALLY completed week 2 of my running program, after attempting it for three consecutive weeks. Wednesday was 1000x easier than Monday, and Friday's 4:1 was not the most torturous ever, and yesterday was almost pleasant -- I ran in the evening, from my parents' house to the fire station and back, while they were on their walk. I was sort of with them but not really, in the way that I ran ahead of them for four minutes, then for the walking i doubled back towards them and we had time to meet up and say hi before I had to run off again. It worked. Also, it was dark and cool, which may also have been good. I've noticed that Mondays are super hard, so I did "30 min easy walk" today instead of "rest" in the hopes that it makes it less daunting to start again tomorrow. We'll see. (yes, I do know that athletes should take a day off every 7-10 days, but I think it might make it easier to start again tomorrow if I didn't do nothing today.)

Mum and I went shopping yesterday afternoon -- for once in my life, I went to DSW without buying anything, but fear not! I made a list of shoes to find pictures of and then maybe we can have a poll or something about whether I should buy new shoes and if so which ones. I didn't get a red dress either, or a new concert blouse (my old concert blouse I still love, but it is getting a bit faded. sadness!), but I did get new jeans (much needed) and a belt and a shawl, and two button-downs (one white, short-sleeved, and okay I guess, and one off-white, long-sleeved, slightly more casual, and GORGEOUS), and two waistcoats (i am filled with joy) (one is solid black with a full back and pointy lapels, the other is grey-brown stripey and it goes in a band around the back, then has adjustable elastic to connect that band to the "collar". It's less spiffy than the black one, but I still like it). And they were on sale and mum had a gift card and everything.

Tomorrow I have an orientation for the school of education, and supposedly all will be explained and we will no longer be confused and worried. It starts at 8.30a though, which SUCKS.

Tuesday will be full of the busy also. Plus, I'm going to bring the kittens to visit the library. O.o

Thursday night is orchestra auditions. Bassoon at 8, contra at 8.30 (appointments are 15 minutes each.) I'm feeling pretty good about contra -- the excerpts must be easier than last year's, because I've been able to practise them intermittently and it's still gone smoothly. Bassoon not so much. I kind of inadvertently took the last few days off because I am a bad music major, and so I'm a little apprehensive. Plus, my tempi are too slow for the fiddly excerpts still, my Mozart is Not Tidy Enough, I'm pretty sure unintended rubato is happening in the slow excerpts, my reeds are fighting me, and ... I'm worried. I feel like as much as I wanted to prove myself last year, because I was a senior dammit, the expectations are even higher this year because I'm a fifth-year and I gave a good recital and my main competition are the new master's student, who has the same number of years of experience as me but will have better parts anyway unless I really kick ass in auditions, and the same two-years-younger moderately flaky technique whiz who has been kicking my ass in auditions since he arrived. And I just don't really know how I was so motivated last summer, but not this summer, even though this summer feels like higher stakes.

P.S. I still haven't finished gathering info for grad schools. But if I want to audition anywhere I'd better find out what excerpts/pieces/etudes I need to learn, and soon. Bugger.

The kittens are demanding breakfast ever earlier. Today Ducky was in my face at 6:30. Which I guess is still better than Baxter waking me up at 4 yesterday for no reason at all. But still. (Today I did make them wait until 7:15 before I would actually get out of bed. But they were retaliating by sitting closer and closer to me, thus forcing me further and further into the crevice against the wall. When I finally did get up they effectively had me confined to less than half of my own bed.)

2:1 was harder today than any other time before. I had to take extra walking time in the middle. Plus, my iPOS was all run down this morning so it was just me and the sound of my breath and my feet, which makes it seem so much longer. And then a bird shat on my shoulder.

I feel defeated by my own life.

Also, why do we have a gallon and a half of milk in the fridge? If the old milk is bad, you FUCKING POUR IT OUT, you don't leave it in the fridge. If the old milk is fine, why the fuck would you buy new milk? FUCK I NEED TO LIVE ALONE SO MY HOUSE WILL MAKE SOME FUCKING SENSE.

My new running shoes feel good, though. Plus they are pretty.

Asics Gel Landreth. purple.

Current Mood: impotent anger

It's been really hard to get moving in the mornings the last few days. I skipped walking on Thurs and running on Fri, but I won't take today as well. Typing this while I change from pyjamas into running clothes -- yesterday and today were supposed to both be 4:1 but I'll try for 3:1 today because I'm a lazy fuck who missed two days of her running schedule and if that is utterly terrible I'll ramp it down to 2:1. Next week: Week 2 again. I'll start on Mon with 3:1 if I manage to stick to that today.

Arg.

ETA: I did about 2.5:1.5 x3, then was tired and my chest was tight so I walked 8 min, then gave it one more half-hearted try, barely made it one minute, and walked the rest of the way. Fail. Where's my goddamn inhaler?

Today's 3:1 actually felt easier than Monday's 2:1 -- which is not to say that I'm looking forward to doing 4:1 on Friday and Saturday, but I might be less apprehensive about it than I was about this morning.

Contrabassoon yesterday was not terrible, despite me having forgotten my fingering chart in my other case. I might try again today. Also, I am practically swimming in reeds for the thing -- I bought three reeds about a month ago because they were on sale, without realising that I already had two unused reeds. It's okay, though, because now, of the five contrabassoon reeds in my possession, there are three that are playable. Three!! It is an embarrassment of riches.

It's pretty much the opposite with my bassoon reeds. Of the five that are in my reed box, one of them sounds acceptable, and that one was giving me trouble last night. Also, there are fifteen days until auditions, and I am not even close to tempo on Pulcinella and the Witches' Sabbath. Plus the pad on my G key is sticking, which is extremely problematic for Scheherezade in particular, but I e-mailed John about it last night and he'll tell me how to fix it (or to bring it to him so he can fix it). (Also I felt bad for not seeing/calling him since May, despite having moved to within two miles of his house. It's not my fault that I had the Cold From Hell when the guys were going to have drinks with him, but it is my fault that I didn't get in contact otherwise.) (Also maybe if I reach out to him now, he'll tell me where to apply for grad school. Well, I mean, I'm going to have this conversation with him anyway, and also with Other John, and probably also with every other professor I am on good terms with, and a lot of the grad students as well... But anyway.)

After ablutions & breaking fast this morning, I'm going to go to the post office and mail a bunch of shit, and also pick up the package that I apparently missed yesterday. It should be the Advantage for the kitties, which will be excellent. In related news, there will be EPIC VACUUMING today (to make up for the EPIC VACUUMING that I definitely didn't do this weekend)!

Mmk shower time.

Current Music: earworm: The Strokes//Last Night

So I decided to try going for a run, since on the 4th floor, it's not particularly smoky.

At street level, I didn't even make it two minutes before I was wheezing like a ... thing that wheezes a lot. So I went back inside.

Oops.

Dear Shoe Boy,
You're still gorgeous, but the after-hours drop at the library is meant to be used after hours. There is no bin there when we are open, which you could clearly see, because that wall is floor-to-ceiling windows. When we are open, you are meant to come the fuck inside and return your books in the inside drop bin.

Not as indulgent as you think I am,
Sigma

Composers, I swear.

Today when I looked out the window of my flat it was frighteningly hazy, and my chest was tight enough that I needed to use my inhaler without doing anything more than walking to the window, so I decided to delay today's run. Hopefully the air will be clearer this evening? If it isn't, I'll take today as a Day Of Rest and nudge the training schedule back a day. Or until I'm no longer afraid to open the windows. Granted, I'll likely have to regress to a smaller run-to-walk ratio, but that's okay. I'd rather not breathe smoke.

Yesterday I finally started my grad school research. I'm still running with this (admittedly baseless) idea that Chicago is A Place I Want To Be, so that would mean Northwestern (technically in Evanston but not prohibitively far from Symphony Center eh?), Roosevelt, or DePaul. From there I jumped to check out the New York schools (god the Manhattan SoM sounds fantastic but I'm a little afraid of NYC and I'd probably never ever get in anyway), and I'm working my way westwards. The idea is that I want to go to school far, far away. And apparently my parents want to have a Serious Conversation about that with me, which will be joyous, I'm sure. I know I was talking a lot a while ago about going to grad school in Europe, but... I dunno. It's proving difficult to find information on what schools are even "good," especially information in English (because I just don't have the patience to wade through real-life German right now), and I'm pretty sure I don't want to end up playing with any kind of European "sound," although the German sound is miles better than French or even English bassoon. And Europe might be prohibitively expensive right now. Plus I have latched onto Chicago-in-my-head, which is kind of undercutting my motivation to investigate European schools. Eh. Musicians (er, Amanda), where are the other schools I should be looking at? How have I studied music in college for four years without knowing this? How have my friends found out where they should apply? (Of course, now that I'm looking inside the U.S. I imagine my teacher will have a lot more info for me.)

Also! I just spent a good long while chatting with Former Dungeon Master Ben about schools and teaching and sci-fi (he's reading Asimov for the first time; I've been DVRing Star Trek TOS & TNG and overdosing on Torchwood and reading all sorts of interesting meta about Sci-Fi and Television and Issues) and just... life. And I loooooove Ben and I miss hanging out with him, but inside my head (probably not inside his) the spectre of J hangs between us and I definitely still want J to Die In A Fire. I definitely felt a lot less awkward today than a few months ago, though, which is comforting. Because we are, in fact, friends on our own merit and not just through J. I <3 Ben. (and god damn do I miss playing D&D. *pout*)

In other news, one of my fellow Library Assistants suggested putting honey in coffee, which I had never considered before (because honey is for tea!). I tried it today, and it was actually quite good. *shrug* Who knew?

To Do This Evening:
- run if the air is decent
- practise (despite kitties hiding)
- put a new bag into Mom's Badass Canister Vacuum (which is now MY badass canister vac because she got a fancy new one just like it but better and a different colour!! YAAAAY I LOVE MY MOMMY SHE GIVES ME HER CAST-OFF AUTOMOBILES AND HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES) and vacuum the shit (NOT LITERAL SHIT YOU GUYS) out of my bathroom and the kitties' scratching post and cat carrier, which have been outside de-fleaing and de-Raiding for the past week and are probably now covered in ash.
- make pesto??? -- my basil has gotten pretty large -- and pasta go to with :)
- hang out with Dory, who asked this morning if he could crash on my couch. Yay! I hope he's not allergic to cats... Not that they'll be on him or anything, they sleep with me with the door shut, but still. Dander and all.
- deal with more of my Desk Heap maybe? I got a little bit of it sorted the other night -- or at least, it's now an orderly tower of stuff on top of the printer instead of a jumble of crap all over everywhere. I'm finding myself with a shocking lack of space for papers and things, though, and I don't really know how that happened, because I can't imagine where all these papers used to be hiding. I don't know, Abergavenny? oh god torchwood in my brain
- Pow-wow with Flatmate re: rent, which is due, to find out how we're adjusting for her doing automatic deposits for the cable. (know what SUCKS though? the building manager called me this morning and informed me that the pet deposit will be $400 which is a lot more than I anticipated. Aaaaarg.)
- OMG CUT TIES WITH PAC PROMOS. Which means finding the original paperwork. Which reminds me.

PSA TIEM!!!
If you are approached by a representative of PAC Promos, Inc., DON'T LET THEM TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING. RUN THE OTHER WAY. This mostly applies to ladies who have cause to be on a college campus in SoCal, because that is where they approach people (that is where they approached me).
The discounted salon services sound really nice but they charge you $20 a month and they DON'T STOP. I ended up not even being able to make time for any of the salon trips before the offer expired. At the time, I figured, "Oh well, whatever, I am allowed to make poor choices with my own money" (and $20 a month is definitely my own money, and not my parents') and assumed that they'd stop charging me once the offer expired. NOT SO. Which I did not notice until yesterday. Fuck me. And all the reviews I've read say that cutting ties with them is a huge hassle, which I'm not looking forward to.

... Hooray! Or not.

Current Music: earworm: Muse//Uprising -- fckyeah

First: a meme I must have done at the beginning of last summer, before the cable was set up in our old apartment!

Second: This morning, during my "walk easy 30 min," I saw a woman out walking her dog. A woman in her 40s or 50s, it looked like, walking her teeny-tiny yorkshire terrier, wearing an orange mini-dress and four-inch espadrilles. Oh god, it was priceless. Only in fuckin' LA.

Third: All last week, my run days were cycles of run 1 min, walk 2 min. Yesterday, the times were reversed, to run 2 min, walk 1 min and it was awful. Especially since yesterday was hazy and roasting-hot, and I was miserable. I ran a cold bath the minute I got home. Today was a walk day and I can't decide if I wish it were a run day, because while it is even more hazy out, it's dark and cloudy and comparatively cool. (Which is not to say that I'm not still sitting here with all the windows shut and the A/C on.) I'm dreading tomorrow a bit, when I'm supposed to run 3 min, walk 1 min, not to mention Friday and Saturday, which are both run 4, walk 1. This is happening, though. I'm doing this.

Fourth: Then again, it's a good thing that today was a walk day, because I gave blood last night and I probably wouldn't be able to run this morning. I was practising last night, but had to stop because I got dizzy. Yay!

Fifth: The kittens are afraid of my bassoon, which makes me sad. They hide under the bed whenever I practise. :C

So, I managed to... sideswipe my passenger-side mirror off. Against a concrete pillar. While backing out of my parking spot on my way to work today. Driving was weird -- apparently the passenger-side mirror isn't legally required, but being without it was a little like missing a limb. No, not a limb, exactly, but maybe like missing a finger or something. So I took surface streets and was late to work, but at least I didn't shift lanes into another car on the 405 and die or anything. I'm gonna get duct tape or something at the student store before I leave campus, and reattach it.

I figure the reason y'all put up with the amount I complain is that I tell you about the idiotic things I do and let you laugh?

Ummm, other things of maybe-relevance...
( And somehow this became an EPIC RAMBLE. Oops. )

Hey, why is it that when girls tell you they're drunk, they always sound... troubled, or apologetic, or distressed -- like it's a big problem that they're drunk? Not all women do this, I mean, but it's something I've noticed as exclusive to females -- I've never heard a guy whine, "I'm a little bit drunnnnnk," like it's a problem he wants you to fix. Guys usually sound more casual about it, or happy. What really amuses me are the people who tell you they're drunk like they're confiding some big secret. If you're drunk enough to be telling people you drunk and thinking that everyone can't tell, it's pretty damn obvious you're drunk. It makes me laugh.

And finally, squeaking in just minutes before the library closes, is the song I have had stuck in my head all damn day:

Violent Femmes
Blister in the Sun

When I'm a walking, I strut my stuff, then I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out

Let me go on, like a blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you're the one

Body and beats, I stain my sheets, I don't even know why
My girl friend, she's at the end, she is starting to cry

Let me go on, like a blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you're the one

Whisper:
When I'm a walking, I strut my stuff, then I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out
When I'm a walking, I strut my stuff, then I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out
Body and beats, I stain my sheets, I don't even know why
My girl friend, she's at the end, she is starting to cry
When I'm a walking, I strut my stuff, then I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out

Loud:
Let me go on, like a blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you're the one

HA HA NOW IT'S IN YOUR HEAD TOO

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: work
Current Music: earworm: Violent Femmes//Blister In The Sun

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i feel very peculiar
oh okay other stuff
gyar.
fuck it.
my lazy ass
Morning Sundries
That did not go well
How obvious is it that I typed this in segments over the course of more than two hours?
hi random stuff!
In today's edition of "Stupid Things I Do" ... plus, my life.

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Page generated Jul. 6th, 2025 05:14 pm

shroud ourselves in the cosmos; let the music play

sigma: nerdy bassoonist in an ill-fitting human suit

Entries tagged with running

i feel very peculiar

oh okay other stuff

gyar.

fuck it.

my lazy ass

Morning Sundries

That did not go well

How obvious is it that I typed this in segments over the course of more than two hours?

hi random stuff!

In today's edition of "Stupid Things I Do" ... plus, my life.