(no subject)

So I have a roommate again! I met her when I got in after the concert (and then Palomino) last night. Her name is Kady and she's pre-med and filipino and christian and she seems very sweet, escaping from her own terrible roommate situation that was rather worse than mine... I think we'll get along, although the sudden explosion of pink in the room was disorienting (she likes Hello Kitty). And I will miss the whole wandering around naked thing... although she says she goes home most weekends so I'll have that at least.

haha.

I just feel kind of bad, since she has expressed a desire to do things together and bond and stuff, and I am really only here when I'm sleeping or working; yesterday I was gone until circa midnight (concert & then the customary orchestral storming of Palomino, an Italian restaurant (and bar)), and tonight -- well, suffice it to say I got back half an hour ago. She's asleep. And, you know, I don't mean to be unfriendly, and I don't want her to be lonely, but I am just so busy -- partially because, for the first time, there are lots of people asking me to play in stuff for them. Recitals and quintets and stuff. And so in addition to class & large ensemble rehearsals all day, and practising and hanging out with Zach, Dena, and/or Paula, I have added extra rehearsals for all these things. I'm actually going to do homework early this weekend, because I anticipate not having enough time during the week. You know that that, for me, is pretty extreme, eh.

I really don't mean to be an absentee roommate. I just have no time.

Also, it figures that I would get a roommate the day I run out in the morning without making my bed.

In other news, today I had a talk with Conductor Dan, our graduating DMA conductor, about (you'll never guess) conducting. It was... well, eye-opening. He really told it like it is, which is good, since I think Dr. Lee and his grad students tell it in a way that is less likely to frighten people off, but it's much better to know what you're getting into, yeah? He just made me really realise how much work it's going to be, and how much time and effort I'll have to put in. What you really need to be capable of to be a good conductor is definitely intimidating, but mostly it inspired in me an intense urge to go to the library and check out a bunch of treatises and scores, so I did, and I quickly became less flustered. It's just... intense. And I'm going to have to be intense. I've been coasting for a while, doing things that don't take that much work because frankly, after PACE, I was tired, and I have things I can be doing that are much more fun, but I've been buckling down gradually -- practising more, playing more, and now I'm going to start working on score study, which Dan feels is the biggest, most important part of being a conductor. And it's going to be hard... but I decided to start with things I already know well -- Tchaik 6, Scheherezade, Finlandia, Quiet City... and Mathis Der Maler, because it's one of our listening assignments in Theory this quarter. And I'll learn. And it'll be fine. I'm also going to work more on my keyboard skills, because they're so necessary to score study.

So, um, yeah. That's what's new with me.

Addendum

So it took the entire week to "screw my courage to the sticking place," but I did it. Here's how it went down, eh:

[3:00 a.m. Your Friend Sigma (and if you're reading this, you are indeed my friend) and Cute Singer are walking to their dorm (as they live in the same building), having been dropped off by Sigma's Co-Conspirator Zachary (who has recently hosted a movie night, replete with girly Green Apple Smirnoff (fear not, Dear Reader: Your Friend Sigma had a far more respectable rum & diet coke), Meryl Streep in Kramer vs. Kramer, and a brace of giggly freshman oboes (double reeds seem to gravitate toward him and I've no idea why)). Cute Singer is detailing how busy he will be this weekend. They enter the building by the door right next to Cute Singer's room. They pause to bid each other farewell.]

CS: So, ah, I'll see you... well, when I see you.

S: Yeah. [pauses, clearly on the verge of speaking. Cute Singer waits expectantly] Um, do you want to get coffee sometime? [Cute Singer is silent; Sigma continues quickly] I mean, you can say no, it's all right; I just needed to ask -- [she breaks off awkwardly and studies him, hopeful]

CS: [after a pause] You know what -- sure. [pause] Sometime. [They stand awkwardly for a short while]

S: [agreeing] Sometime. [begins to back away. Quietly, to herself] Sometime.

CS: [entering his room] I'll see you.

S: Goodnight, [Cute Singer].

[Your Friend Sigma enters the stairwell and dashes upstairs, clutching her books, jacket, and umbrella. Upon reaching the top landing, she goes around the corner, away from her room, and into the next stairwell, where she telephones Her Co-Conspirator Zachary, who is likely almost back to his apartment by now, to tell him the news.]


So, I got a "you know what, sure." which is not "no." It is, in fact, of a distinctly non-negative persuasion, which is encouraging -- although "no" perhaps would have been easier for me to deal with. I mean, now I have something to obsess and freak out about, and I can obsess and freak out like a pro, as I'm sure you, Dear Reader, know all too well. And it still may well be excruciatingly awkward. But -- he didn't say no. Also, this may be a turning point for me, in terms of relationship initiative. Well, perhaps not, considering how much it took for this to happen, but still.

Oh god, now I actually have to schedule a getting-of-coffee. Oh god.

Oh god. I'm sure you, Dear Reader, know exactly what sorts of things are going through my mind right now, so I shan't bore you with relating them all. But. Oh god.

*rueful snap*

How evil are you?

Well there go my dreams of being an evil genius and taking over the world.... damn it.