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sigmastolenTitle: Unfinished Business
Author: Sigma (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sigmastolen)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Summary: Sirius apologises.
Warnings: post-mortem angst, presupposed character death
Disclaimer: Proper ownership goes to JK Rowling and her publishers. I'm just playing, and not making a red cent.
Notes: Not sure how old this is, but note from the original document: Inspired by a strange meshing of “Will & Grace” and “The Sixth Sense.” And maybe “Casper.”
Standing here watching you sleep, I realise this has been put off for far too long. I have so much to atone for, and now it’s too late, but I need to try. And as much as I wish you could be awake for this, now is when you have the most chance of hearing me.
What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for every time I was thoughtless. I’m sorry for disregarding your feelings. I'm sorry for every time I was rash and stupid, and every time I made you worry about me — like when I drove the motorcycle off that cliff before the flight charms were fully tested. And when I got stuck in the sinking stair all night. And when I picked a fight with that Acromantula in the Forest.
But I digress.
I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for making you cover for me all the time, and for making you lie for us, and for getting you in trouble. I’m sorry I ever mistrusted you and misled you; I’m sorry I ever thought you could betray us, and I’m sorry I avoided you, and I’m sorry failed everyone, but especially you, because you always made me want to be better than I was.
And while we’re getting into the big stuff, I’m still sorry for being sixteen and stupid, and almost making you a killer. I will never be able to apologise enough for that, even though I’ll spend eternity apologising. You are too gentle and sensitive for that, and I almost destroyed you. And I’m sorry. It killed me then, to have to watch your torment and be turned away, and it kills me now. And I apologise again for my poor choice of words.
I’m sorry I made the mistake of trusting a rat, and I’m sorry I had to leave you alone for twelve long years. I’m even sorry I have to leave you again, just when everything seemed to be working out again. This time it’s for real. But lease, let them in. Let them help. They care about you.
I’m sorry I teased you, I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I upset and worried and angered you. I’m sorry I didn’t take more time to think about things — consequences, risks, dangers, your feelings. I’m sorry for every wrong I’ve ever dealt you. I’m sorry for not saying this sooner. And most of all, I’m sorry I have to say goodbye.
Goodbye, Remus.
Author: Sigma (
sigmastolen) Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Summary: Sirius apologises.
Warnings: post-mortem angst, presupposed character death
Disclaimer: Proper ownership goes to JK Rowling and her publishers. I'm just playing, and not making a red cent.
Notes: Not sure how old this is, but note from the original document: Inspired by a strange meshing of “Will & Grace” and “The Sixth Sense.” And maybe “Casper.”
Standing here watching you sleep, I realise this has been put off for far too long. I have so much to atone for, and now it’s too late, but I need to try. And as much as I wish you could be awake for this, now is when you have the most chance of hearing me.
What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for every time I was thoughtless. I’m sorry for disregarding your feelings. I'm sorry for every time I was rash and stupid, and every time I made you worry about me — like when I drove the motorcycle off that cliff before the flight charms were fully tested. And when I got stuck in the sinking stair all night. And when I picked a fight with that Acromantula in the Forest.
But I digress.
I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for making you cover for me all the time, and for making you lie for us, and for getting you in trouble. I’m sorry I ever mistrusted you and misled you; I’m sorry I ever thought you could betray us, and I’m sorry I avoided you, and I’m sorry failed everyone, but especially you, because you always made me want to be better than I was.
And while we’re getting into the big stuff, I’m still sorry for being sixteen and stupid, and almost making you a killer. I will never be able to apologise enough for that, even though I’ll spend eternity apologising. You are too gentle and sensitive for that, and I almost destroyed you. And I’m sorry. It killed me then, to have to watch your torment and be turned away, and it kills me now. And I apologise again for my poor choice of words.
I’m sorry I made the mistake of trusting a rat, and I’m sorry I had to leave you alone for twelve long years. I’m even sorry I have to leave you again, just when everything seemed to be working out again. This time it’s for real. But lease, let them in. Let them help. They care about you.
I’m sorry I teased you, I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I upset and worried and angered you. I’m sorry I didn’t take more time to think about things — consequences, risks, dangers, your feelings. I’m sorry for every wrong I’ve ever dealt you. I’m sorry for not saying this sooner. And most of all, I’m sorry I have to say goodbye.
Goodbye, Remus.
