shroud ourselves in the cosmos; let the music play

About to watch DVRed House while I make (late, late) breakfast. It's "House vs. God," the one with the teenage faith healer, and the channel actually put a warning just before that said, "Viewer discretion is advised. This program may contain religious sensibilities." And I was like, "Seriously, TV?"

I cannot stand the way that Americans seem to have made a national sport out of being offended.

One of my music ed professors told us a story about a well-respected school choir director in Sacramento who had to scrap an entire winter concert program because a parent, who is a well-known atheist, made a stink about some of the songs celebrating religious holidays (diverse religious holidays, btw, not just "christmas, baby jesus, yay!" but representing different belief systems according to MENC guidelines). The concert wasn't ruined because the choir was fortunately also working on some other songs, but honestly.

p.s. re: my last post about our crazy world and the iPod being a favourite musical instrument, apparently there are apps that simulate different musical instruments? So I am told, anyway, by people who own fancy new Apple products (my beloved Apple products are quite obsolete). So maybe that six-year-old girl was just way more tech savvy than we realise. Hmm.

"Just do her. you disencumber."

ahaha.

Happy 11th birthday, Google! Now you can go to Hogwarts!

The kitties are lying in a T-shape exactly where my ass needs to be in order for me to sleep in my bed. I don't know what to do, they're all purring and sleepy and adorable and I don't want to move them.

We're observing at Santa Monica HS tomorrow morning. Google Maps says it should take me 15 minutes on the 10 in traffic but somehow I don't believe it. I might save my "easy walk 30 min" for the evening so I can leave at 7:15.

First lesson of the year, tomorrow at 3. I still haven't decided if it will be a playing lesson or a talking lesson. (Well, it'll be a talking lesson no matter what, I just don't know if I should subject Steinmetz to how unprepared I am in advance of my audition tomorrow at 8. Forewarned is forearmed? It might lower his expectations and then if I do better at the audition it will be much better in comparison? FEH.)

Watched NCIS S7 premiere during dinner. OMG, SHOW. OMG. MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. GIBBS IS TOTES SLEEPING WITH VANCE. TONY/ZIVA FOREVER. EXCEPT FOR SOMETIMES TO ALLOW TONY & MCGEE TO HAVE MAN-DATES.

Post-practise (which was... half-okay, half-:c ) I watched the premiere of NCIS: Los Angeles. WTF, SHOW. WTF. I wish I had seen the episode(s) in which this show spun off from NCIS, because, WHAT. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN. I mean. WHAT. Someone in the comments to someone else's blog was all, "It looks like the creators watched Torchwood right before they made this," and I agree. Bizarre undercover base? Technological focus (particularly on tech that will be laughably outdated in a year)? Homoerotic undertones/banter (and okay, I know everyone so far is all, Chris O'Donnell/LL Cool J FTW!! but O'Donnell had a Look with Cute Glasses Techie during the obligatory INTRODUCE THE CAST scene and hey, that would be fine with me. Except Cute Glasses Techie seems to be kind of.... less of a player in the dynamic.) and really blatant "openmindedness" (because hey, this is LA, right??? The Navy intel guy can be gay lovers with the paratrooper if he wants! Except apparently not. BUT WE'LL TOTES TALK ABOUT IT TO SHOW HOW PROGRESSIVE WE ARE.)? I'm intending to keep a particular eye out for race!fail in this, with special attention to portrayal of hispanic people (part of this is politicized blogs I have been reading, and part of this is my new Social Justice Educator Goggles). So far, we have (1) people related to Mexican drug cartels and (2) gardeners. I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO IMPRESS ME, SHOW. And thus far, the only really favourable things are: Edna Mode (AHAHAHA srsly Linda Hunt is Edna Mode) and Hey Wasn't That Guy In Some Superhero Movie (Chris O'Donnell, formerly known as Robin/Dick Grayson in the 90's Batman films -- OMG JULIE REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO WATCH THOSE OVER AND OVER? THAT WAS GOOD TIMES) and Dude Did You Know LL Cool J Is Still Alive? Me Neither.

So yeah.

I guess I had a lot more to say about NCIS:LA than I thought I would.

The kitties have moved out of my way by now, at least. Baxter has been doing this adorable thing where he puts his front paws and his face on whatever of my body parts is nearest him, and then stares adoringly up at my face. IT'S THE BEST EVER. Well, no, maybe not, because as I explained to my bosses today, STRING is in fact the best ever. (Crumpled-up paper is almost as good as string, but not quite.)

BITCHY PATRON approaches circulation desk, armed with a BOOK of Chopin piano sonatas and her LIBRARY CARD. The BOOK has RED TAPE on its spine.

BITCHY PATRON: Can I check this out?

ME: No, it's non-circulating. See, the red tape --

BITCHY PATRON: Non-circulating? What does that mean?

ME: It means it has to stay in the library. You can't check it out.

BITCHY PATRON: Then why do you even have it?

*

I then proceeded to explain that we have a non-circulating copy because Chopin is very very popular and this way we're never totally Out Of Chopin and someone can make photocopies if they have to, and she is welcome to look for another edition that does not have red tape.

Seriously, though. Who says that???

oh godddddddddddd

the kittens are BOTH!! under the comforter but on top of the topsheet, and attacking my toes through it. Which is adorable! Especially the warm, soft, kitten-sized comforter lumps. BUT OH GOD IT TICKLES

oh thank god they stopped

-----

Dear Flatmate,

I know I tend to take curves on the freeway, especially the ramps, quite fast. I know my car handles well enough for me to do so. You going "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" in the backseat is not entertaining, cute, or endearing, and it does not make me want to slow down, either. It just pisses me right the fuck off and makes me want to go fucking faster to teach you a lesson so shut the fuck up.

p.s. You telling the kittens loudly that their nails are sharp and need cutting does not endear you to me, either. I will cut the kittens' nails when I think they need it and when the are relaxed enough and I have the time. Being coy about it does not make the confluence of these events any more likely. shut the fuck up. maybe if you didn't insist on holding them when they don't to be held, you wouldn't encounter their claws. I haven't had problems yet.

p.p.s. I won't thank you for finally cleaning the stove and the countertop. I am quite relieved that you did because the mess you have left unattended for several days was on the verge of becoming a biohazard (seriously, that bowl that you used for defrosting the raw chicken sat out three days, and that fork with the raw egg was from yesterday morning), but I refuse to thank you and congratulate you for doing something that should be automatic and prompt -- not a special feat deserving a reward. And while I'm glad you finally picked up most of your shit that was scattered around the living room, I see no reason for your flip-flops to still be under the coffee table. You don't even wear them why the fuck should they ever be out of your room.

-----

so I FINALLY completed week 2 of my running program, after attempting it for three consecutive weeks. Wednesday was 1000x easier than Monday, and Friday's 4:1 was not the most torturous ever, and yesterday was almost pleasant -- I ran in the evening, from my parents' house to the fire station and back, while they were on their walk. I was sort of with them but not really, in the way that I ran ahead of them for four minutes, then for the walking i doubled back towards them and we had time to meet up and say hi before I had to run off again. It worked. Also, it was dark and cool, which may also have been good. I've noticed that Mondays are super hard, so I did "30 min easy walk" today instead of "rest" in the hopes that it makes it less daunting to start again tomorrow. We'll see. (yes, I do know that athletes should take a day off every 7-10 days, but I think it might make it easier to start again tomorrow if I didn't do nothing today.)

Mum and I went shopping yesterday afternoon -- for once in my life, I went to DSW without buying anything, but fear not! I made a list of shoes to find pictures of and then maybe we can have a poll or something about whether I should buy new shoes and if so which ones. I didn't get a red dress either, or a new concert blouse (my old concert blouse I still love, but it is getting a bit faded. sadness!), but I did get new jeans (much needed) and a belt and a shawl, and two button-downs (one white, short-sleeved, and okay I guess, and one off-white, long-sleeved, slightly more casual, and GORGEOUS), and two waistcoats (i am filled with joy) (one is solid black with a full back and pointy lapels, the other is grey-brown stripey and it goes in a band around the back, then has adjustable elastic to connect that band to the "collar". It's less spiffy than the black one, but I still like it). And they were on sale and mum had a gift card and everything.

Tomorrow I have an orientation for the school of education, and supposedly all will be explained and we will no longer be confused and worried. It starts at 8.30a though, which SUCKS.

Tuesday will be full of the busy also. Plus, I'm going to bring the kittens to visit the library. O.o

Thursday night is orchestra auditions. Bassoon at 8, contra at 8.30 (appointments are 15 minutes each.) I'm feeling pretty good about contra -- the excerpts must be easier than last year's, because I've been able to practise them intermittently and it's still gone smoothly. Bassoon not so much. I kind of inadvertently took the last few days off because I am a bad music major, and so I'm a little apprehensive. Plus, my tempi are too slow for the fiddly excerpts still, my Mozart is Not Tidy Enough, I'm pretty sure unintended rubato is happening in the slow excerpts, my reeds are fighting me, and ... I'm worried. I feel like as much as I wanted to prove myself last year, because I was a senior dammit, the expectations are even higher this year because I'm a fifth-year and I gave a good recital and my main competition are the new master's student, who has the same number of years of experience as me but will have better parts anyway unless I really kick ass in auditions, and the same two-years-younger moderately flaky technique whiz who has been kicking my ass in auditions since he arrived. And I just don't really know how I was so motivated last summer, but not this summer, even though this summer feels like higher stakes.

P.S. I still haven't finished gathering info for grad schools. But if I want to audition anywhere I'd better find out what excerpts/pieces/etudes I need to learn, and soon. Bugger.

OH GOD I HATE KING OF THE HILL SO MUCH. SO MUCH! >:c I HATE FLATMATE'S TASTE IN EVERYTHING.

But i love Muse. love love love love love. Am listening to the highlights of Kevin & Bean's Breakfast With Muse In Manhattan (go there, scroll down, it's on the right under a prominent header). LOVE LOVE LOVE. So much love. And they're playing the OMG SO PUMPED songs, too. (which may not actually be a good thing for the angry-place-ness)

Dr. Old (everyone's favourite elderly musicologist -- no, his name is not actually Old) returned to the library today, after being gone all summer, and he leered at me, complete with eyebrow-waggle! -- I was surprised, mostly because I thought the leering was restricted to my more fabulous co-workers, if you know what I mean. His arrival heralded offers of assistance from both of my bosses-who-are-here-today (not Boss, I think she's taking a "vacation" -- in actuality, the furlough days she's accrued), which was hilarious. Dr. Old asked to speak with one of them just minutes after he had told me he'd be upstairs of Dr. Old needed him. He hadn't even had time to get to the staircase. Heh.

---

Um. I may have missed something here -- apparently it is vital to be on Dr. Old's good books? Or at least, Irish Tech Boss told me that being liked by Dr. Old will be the best thing for me. And Newly-In-Charge-Of-Everything Boss is jumping at his requests (though not without much long-suffering sighing and eye-rolling). Okay, he's an important musicologist, I know that. What am I not getting about this situation?

I spent all afternoon at home today. Mum and I got our eyebrows threaded (she was so unprepared for the pain. it was a little hilarious), I watched Wall-E, my clothes are clean without me having to spend tons of quarters, I didn't have to cook my own food, I have my new running shoes, and I spent all day with people who love me.

I still feel shitty.

Also, I just got home and first I had to pretend to give a damn about Flatmate's day, and now she is watching shitty trashy tv and I wish I could somehow just not hear it because it is such utter trash. Also:

Dear Style Channel,
"Tranny" is not a word that is okay for you or the people in your shows to use. If a transperson is using it to reclaim it, that is his or her prerogative, but it is considered perjorative in any other context, especially that of completely imbecilic straight women talking about being unfashionable and having "camel-toe."
Get the fuck out of my living room,
Sigma

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In other news, the kittens were very good boys at the vet's this morning. They were getting boosters of a vaccine. And, OMG. I was expecting to have to gentle them through big scary needles, BUT NO. INSTEAD THEY SQUIRTED THE MEDICINE INTO THEIR NOSES WITH TINY KITTY NOSE SYRINGES.

They were pretty okay with it, and I was impressed. I much prefer shots to squirting shit up my nose. Seriously, I hate nasal sprays. Hate.

Whoa wtf Baxter is literally trying to climb the walls. WTF KITTEN. WTF.

-----

It kind of disturbs me that I'm saying this before the school year has even begun, but I want to live alone so badly. OMG GTFO OF MY FLAT. God. GODDAMN I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.

-----

ALSO the news made me angry. There was a segment about medical marijuana dispensaries and how the city of Los Angeles has FAILED ALL OVER ITSELF with a TOTAL LACK OF FEES AND REGULATIONS and it pissed me right the fuck off. Because apparently the borough of Eagle Rock has fucking ELEVEN dispensaries or something, most of them unregistered. I know firsthand that Westwood Village has two or three. There's a loophole in the law that the owners of these places are exploiting to apply to have them, but also the board that is supposed to review said applications or whatever is NOT REVIEWING THEM and they're opening illegally, without licenses or whatever, and no one is stopping them, and OH BY THE WAY the illegal shops? PAY NO TAXES OR FEES BECAUSE THE CITY ISN'T PAYING THEM ANY ATTENTION OR ANYTHING so EVERYTHING they make is profit. And it's a culture and one that is put on a pedestal, fucking idealized and aspired to and worshipped, and somehow the bulk of people pay no attention to how much it actually can (and in many cases does) fuck them up.

But I think what really makes me the most angry is the TOTAL lack of restrictions on who can get a weed card. I am not denying the value of marijuana as a real, medical treatment for some people -- I know a musician who has a serious and painful gastrointestinal (i think?) condition with an equally serious and painful treatment, and being high while she's recovering from it is pretty much all that gets her through it. Similarly, other people with legitimate need of marijuana -- cancer patients, pain patients -- should be able to get it. THIS DOES NOT APPLY to bullshit excuses like, oh, say, exaggerated tendinitis, and then the "patient" immediately goes out and treats it as a justification for buying virtually unlimited amounts of the drug, and a justification for being fucking blazed all the fucking time -- both to others (with limited success) and to himself (BECAUSE ADDICTS ARE LYING LIARS WHO LIE, ESPECIALLY TO THEMSELVES).

I guess what I'm saying is there needs to be a system of controls on (a) who can prescribe it (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, DOCTORS OF DUBIOUS INTEGRITY), (b) for what reasons it can be prescribed, and (c) how much a patient can acquire. YOU WANT TO CALL IT MEDICINE? TREAT IT LIKE OTHER PRESCRIPTION DRUGS. YOU KNOW, WITH REAL PRESCRIPTIONS AND PHARMACIES. NONE OF THIS "CANNABIS COLLECTIVE" HIPPIE BULLSHIT. I AM CALLING YOU OUT, LOS ANGELES, MEDICAL PROFESSION, UNITED STATES, WHO-THE-FUCK-EVER. GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER. GET IT UNDER SOME FUCKING CONTROL.

Um. It, ah, touches a FUCKING nerve, okay? FUCK.

because i'll always wish i had protested more.

FUCK.



FUCK.