fuck my phone
Jan. 17th, 2009 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sigmastolenI was going to regale you with the continuing saga of Unexpectedly Harrowing Text Messages but I took my mum to the opera tonight (or rather she took me) and during the performance my (silenced) phone ran out of battery and OF COURSE I have forgotten my charger at home exactly in conjunction with my greatest desire to date to not be out of contact. And so now I'm so anxious I could explode. I did use my mum's phone to say something to the effect of, "my phone died this is my mum's don't reply pls more monday when charged," to both Jay and Malia, which is small comfort to my nerves.
There is lots of new texty drama, mostly to the effect of "i am very sorry for being a shit and i do love you (but let's not mention that i am in fact seeing another woman) and i'm planning to go to ww this week when can i see you and give you a long-overdue hug?" and me fretting about what it means and what i should say and not replying yet, partially to make him wait for it and partially to figure out logistics and partially because i'm terrified and hurting and i can't trust yet that this is real, that it will last long enough for me to connect with him at all and partially because i don't want to see him if he is with Jill since I don't do well with the knowledge that boys I consider mine are with someone else and i don't know if I can restrain myself from saying or doing something deeply inappropriate and unwise and humiliating and partially because i only want to see him if he is crawling back to me for keeps.
In other news, Die Zauberflöte was pretty good, even if it was obvious that it was the B cast (some numbers were too slow and some singers were too quiet). Also, just in time for it to be fresh in my mind for a lesson on it Tuesday and playing it next weekend (thanks for recommending me, Dan!). And now mum wants to take da to see La Traviata for his birthday in the spring.
There is lots of new texty drama, mostly to the effect of "i am very sorry for being a shit and i do love you (but let's not mention that i am in fact seeing another woman) and i'm planning to go to ww this week when can i see you and give you a long-overdue hug?" and me fretting about what it means and what i should say and not replying yet, partially to make him wait for it and partially to figure out logistics and partially because i'm terrified and hurting and i can't trust yet that this is real, that it will last long enough for me to connect with him at all and partially because i don't want to see him if he is with Jill since I don't do well with the knowledge that boys I consider mine are with someone else and i don't know if I can restrain myself from saying or doing something deeply inappropriate and unwise and humiliating and partially because i only want to see him if he is crawling back to me for keeps.
In other news, Die Zauberflöte was pretty good, even if it was obvious that it was the B cast (some numbers were too slow and some singers were too quiet). Also, just in time for it to be fresh in my mind for a lesson on it Tuesday and playing it next weekend (thanks for recommending me, Dan!). And now mum wants to take da to see La Traviata for his birthday in the spring.
