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Why would one ever buy the small, bear-shaped bottle of honey? It's creepy-looking, and the plastic is thick and virtually impossible to squeeze. Buy a bigger bottle and you get a better price per ounce, the bottle is squeezable, and you don't have to buy more honey for another year -- and it's not as if it's going to go bad in that time. It's honey. I have never seen honey go bad. Also, if you buy the bigger bottle, you can get it in a shape that's not a fucking creepy little bear. Jesus. Idiot.

And, okay, so I didn't wash the things I used to bake last night, but they're all at least in the sink and I wiped up the cheese that strayed onto the counter and the floor. That doesn't mean that it's cool to leave empty string cheese wrappers and grape stems on the counter. The trash can is two feet away.

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